By Rebecca Mottram, Children’s Nurse & Potty Training Expert
We’re delighted to feature this guest blog from Rebecca Mottram, Children’s Nurse and Potty Training Expert, sharing her advice on how families and nurseries can work together to support early potty learning.
For years, well-intentioned advice about potty training has shaped how families and nurseries approach toilet learning. But much of what’s been passed down is based on outdated ideas and leaves many professionals lacking confidence, especially when children struggle with potty training.
If you’ve ever wondered why toilet learning seems to be getting harder or happening later, it’s not your imagination. It’s time we bust five of the most common potty training myths and explore what really works in early years settings.
As professionals, we often hear that children will use the toilet when they’re ready. But “readiness” is vague and can lead to missed opportunities.
The reality: Toilet learning is a process of skill-building, not a moment of sudden readiness. Just like we support speech by modelling words long before a child talks, we can support toileting skills long before nappies come off. Even toddlers can start to learn the sequence of using a potty, understand where wee and poo go, and become aware of their body’s signals—with our help.
Some worry that introducing toilet learning too early might upset or confuse a child.
In fact: When done with respect and in response to the child’s cues, starting potty learning earlier benefits bowel and bladder health as well as a child’s confidence and engagement. Also, helping children notice body signals, use a potty as part of the daily routine, and feel in control pave the way for a smoother potty training journey.
In a nursery setting, this might mean offering potty opportunities during nappy changes, reading books about toileting, or involving children in flushing and handwashing. To work best, this should start before they plan to stop using nappies.
It’s easy to interpret accidents as signs that a child needs more time in nappies. But think of it like learning to walk – falls are expected.
Truth: Accidents are part of the learning curve. The key is how we respond. We should not ignore accidents as they are useful learning opportunities. Neither should we show disappointment or frustration, as this will disengage the learning process. Calm reassurance with a neutral narrative and consistent routines help children understand and trust the process. Always involve the child in the clean-up as part of the learning process.
Many settings rely on pull-ups as a halfway step. They’re marketed as “training pants,” but in practice, they function much like nappies.
The problem: Pull-ups often prevent children from feeling when they’re wet or soiled. That sensory feedback is essential for developing body awareness. If a child continues to wee or poo without noticing, we’ve missed a chance to help them learn.
Before stopping nappies, try using washable training pants, even if it’s just for short periods. This will help provide the necessary bio-feedback of wetness that will help them develop body awareness.
Sticker charts and praise can feel like positive tools, but they don’t often help children build genuine motivation.
Instead: Focus on supporting intrinsic motivation. Comment on effort, cooperation, and body awareness. For example, “you listened to your body and went to the potty!” or after and accident you can try: “thank you for coming to let me know we need to go and get changed, that was really grown-up of you”. This builds confidence and helps children feel ownership of the process, not pressure to perform.
Here’s how you can support toileting in your setting:
Toilet learning should not be a sudden event; it’s a developmental journey. And as early years professionals, you play a vital role in helping children build the awareness, confidence, and habits they need. The more we move away from outdated myths and towards supportive, proactive strategies, the better we can help every child succeed.
You can tune into the Go Potty Podcast for practical tips and real-world examples, or pre-order my new book: Positively Potty: The Playful, Proactive Toilet Training Solution—written with parents and early years professionals in mind.
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